WINDOW PAIN

God could feel my pain. I knew it. As I sat down staring out the window through tearful eyes, I knew it. Heaven was weeping with me as the rain drops raged at my window. I was in pain. My mind was messed up. In a few moments from now, the monster was going to come in again. It had become normal already. My innocence was long gone as my essence has since been lost. The monster never hesitated to destroy what was supposed to be my pride.

My thoughts were interrupted by the creak of the door. I didn’t look back. It was time. I simply turned and lay on my back as the monster smiled down at me. His once lovely face had now become the symbol of everything wrong with mankind. He was my hate. He was my pain. My evil and my devil. I closed my eyes then I felt his weight on the bed. Right beside me. I slowly parted my legs and he commenced his despicable act. I was silent all through. I had become accustomed to this evil. As he finished up, I closed my legs but then I heard his coarse whisper. I’m not done. “What?” my mind snapped but my mouth was too troubled and weak to utter a sound. He started removing his belt buckle and leaned into me as he finally took away all I ever was and will be. By the time all these was over, he dressed himself back. Expressionless and emotionless. As if what just happened meant nothing. As he made for the door, I mumbled: “Papa, please. Can this stop? I’m in pain”. He simply looked at me and smiled, “I know”.

The Law of Value Addition

Yesterday evening, I was returning from my college building, on the way to my hostel, and then I met a fellow who I assisted in doing his final year research project. As I saw him I waved at him and the first question I asked was: How was your project defense? His reply: It was awesome, thank you very much- with a wide smile on his face. This smile made me happy. It was obvious he was extremely happy and I felt so much joy, knowing I contributed in some way to the success of his project. It was at that moment that I made a decision in my heart: a decision to be a value-adding person. I said to myself: I want to do this for the rest of my life; I want to live to make people happy. Quite frankly, that is what the law of value addition means: making a positive difference in people lives.

When the Trumpet Sounds

Something funny happened recently. At about 6:30 pm on Thursday, 27^th of March, the weather suddenly changed. The clouds became thicker than I have ever seen in a long time. They were extremely dark and seemed like it was going to rain heavily. I was out that day, walking back to my hostel when I heard a sound and then it was followed by people screaming. A fellow was walking at my back and he made a joke. He said that the trumpet just sounded. At that time, I looked up coincidentally trying to decide if I should continue my journey or look for shelter before the rain started pelting. My friend who was with me on the walk started laughing at me. He claimed I was scared I had missed the rapture, I found this funny so I started laughing with him. But frankly, it wasn’t funny. I started thinking: “what if that was actually the rapture? What if it actually happened?” I looked around me at that moment and I saw a large number of people walking around. I thought to myself: “what if all these people, all of us, had actually missed the rapture? What would life be like?”

LIFE LESSONS III: THE BEST LOSER by Austin Queensly (@AustinQueensly)

“You took fourth! Fourth!! What happened to the first, second or even ‘manageable’ third position!!!”

I recoiled to the sitting room to avoid my mum’s screaming but especially dreaded my father’s arrival because though I was and still am ‘daddy’s pet’, one thing is not acceptable in my home. FAILURE. And believe me; my fourth position was considered one. This memory, even after 14 years, remains ingrained in my head and with it, a fear that is now a part of my subconscious and sometimes beclouds my decision making. The fear of failure!

From my growing up years, I had this concept driven into me that failure is bad. First position in class ensured that I got a mini celebration and fourth, a strong reprimand. Don’t get me wrong because I am not condemning this method of upbringing, in fact it has made me the person I am today, always striving for excellence. However, there are always two sides of a coin.

The Penalty of Leadership

I saw this in a textbook I read recently, Introduction to Mass Communication by Stanley J. Baran and I thought it’d be nice to share with you. It’s a 1915 Cadillac Motor Car Company Image Advert.

In every field of human endeavor, he that is first must perpetually live in the white light of publicity. Whether the leadership be vested in a man or in a manufactured product, emulation and envy are ever at work. In art, literature, in music, in industry, the reward and the punishment are always the same. The reward is widespread recognition; the punishment, fierce denial and detraction. When a man’s work becomes a standard for the whole world, it also becomes a target for the shafts of the envious few. If his work be merely mediocre, he will be severely left alone- if he achieves a masterpiece, it will set a million tongues wagging.

They're Leaving God Out of Everything! (The God Omission by Tobi Ogunfusika -@cutendpetite)

When I got home last year after school for the Christmas break, I was watching TV one random day. We were flipping through channels trying to look for something entertaining to watch. We stumbled on African Magic and then for a few minutes we were watching the movie. I noticed that some words were censored and I remembered that they started censoring swear words and curse words a while back and I shrugged my head and continued watching the movie. Something very interesting happened there and then, I noticed that the actress whose present words were being censored wasn’t cursing or saying anything wrong, she was not even angry or pissed with anybody in the movie. She was shocked and she said “Jesus” and after a while she said “oh My God”. It was so hard to read her lips considering the fact that it was a Nollywood movie and those words are the usual things we expect when a situation like that comes up in the course of watching a Nigerian movie.

My Addiction (by Ehidiamen U-Mark)

ADDICTION. Whenever the word comes up, it brings to mind images of junkies and alcoholics, passed out on some high. Indeed, as one dictionary puts it “It is a habit or practice, that damages, jeopardizes or shortens one’s life but when ceases causes trauma”. If you are being truthful to yourself, most of you agree with this definition as this is what most of us think about addiction. We hear addiction and all that comes to mind is negatives. Well here’s a shocker, I don’t fully agree with that description. If this were a questionnaire, I would tick the box that says “strongly disagree”.

I would rather align myself with the definition that describes addiction as “the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice that is psychologically or physically habit forming, to such an extent that its cessation causes trauma”. Pause. Now go back and read that sentence, it makes mention of habit forming. I believe that addiction can either be good or bad, positive or negative. ~as we all know, there are always two sides to a story, two sides to a coin and the same can be said for addiction.

Praying to a God I Don't Trust

So I woke up this morning to the darkness of my room. The darkness that has characterized my life for quite a while now. I stared into nothingness for a while before turning on to my right side to stare at the wall I could not see. Immediately, my brain alerted me that it was time to pray. I sighed. Not again. But by reflex I got up, put my t-shirt on and stepped outside to the corridor and before I could say Jack Robinson, my personal prayer session had begun. I knew I didn't want to but I just felt I should. I had no reason to, I thought. I'm tired of doing this every morning and still nothing has changed. Last I checked, none of my prayers had been answered. Could it be that all this was just fake? That religion is all but a blatant lie? I mean, I had read somewhere that someone said that religion is just man's excuse to explain what he can't comprehend. Nevertheless, I had this scratching feeling deep down that I should banish that thought.

How to Identify Low Self-Esteem

It's easy to want to teach people how to develop their self-esteem when some folks don't even know where they stand. So, for the next few days or so, I'm going to point out to you how to know where you stand. After now, you'll be able to identify if your self-esteem is low, or high or unhealthy. Here's how to identify low self-esteem:

1. You're always looking to other people for approval. You an never feel adequate and good enough for anything. You live on complements and other's appraisals.
2. Criticisms kill your morale. No one is allowed to say something 'candid' about you. If they do, you'll be downcast till kingdom come.

How to Overcome Pornography: Employ the Aid of Accountability Partners

I’ve always heard that a problem shared is half solved. Well, the statement may not be entirely true but I know that in this context it does apply. What I’m saying in essence is that you should have a group of people you can talk to and you can report your progress to. These people are referred to as accountability partners. You are accountable to them.

Your accountability partners should be friends you can trust, parents who can understand you, your pastor to give you sound spiritual guidance and maybe even fellow addicts who have been able to overcome their own problem too. You may not necessarily hold meetings with these people but you should talk to them regularly. The truth is, the journey out of porn addiction is not easy and there will be time when you will feel dirty again God will seem far away and you will feel unworthy to talk to Him so these are people you can always turn back to. They will advise you and help you through the rough patch.

Your accountability partners will also help you monitor your progress and see how far you’ve come. Remember to be very honest with them, and despite the temptation to try to look good before them, remember that that will not help you either. So you must come clean before them. That is the only way they can help you.

Managing Oneself...Life Lessons from Peter F. Drucker

I didn't know how little I knew and how incompetent I was until I came across Peter Drucker's article for the Harvard Business Review titled 'Managing Yourself'. We all want to live a good life. You might not want yours to be a 'big' one but at least I presume everyone would like to live right. For these reason I have done a breakdown of the subtopics Drucker discussed in this article and I will be pointing them out one after the other.

The first thing Drucker made mention of was 'Knowing Your Strengths'.

Insanely Different: Life Lessons from Steve Jobs

Be different. Don’t try to be better. Be different. These were the words that caught my attention most from the movie: Jobs. The movie produced as a tribute to the departed Steven Paul Jobs who was the CEO and Co-Founder of Apple Computers Inc. As I watched the movie I learned a lot as I have always strived to do from every good movie I see. Here are some of the lessons I have learned from Steve Jobs:

1. Whatever your dream is, as long as you believe in it and as long as you have passion, you can achieve it regardless of the opposition you face.

Know Your Weaknesses...Now Work On Them

Until recently I was always an angry person. Anger was my biggest weakness. Not money, not food, not women; anger. I would always easily blow up at the slightest provocation. I would always carry a long face. I only smiled with the people I knew and wasn't always welcoming to strangers. I had other weaknesses but anger was the most notable. And this is simply what today's article is all about. Know what your weakness is or weaknesses are and work on them. This way you become a better person for it.

For example, if your weakness is eating too much, you can meet someone who will help you out.

Love Because You Have To

Love is not an action or a feeling as it were, love is a personality. Just as God is Love, we also have to be love.

A lot of people complain that love is overrated, love is a false feeling or that love is a waste of time. Well, in my opinion, I just believe that such people have no idea what love truly is and what it stands for. If you are able to understand that one should not give love because you he/she can get something in return, life would be so much better.

We have to learn how to love people simply because we have to, not because we can get something from them. God tells us that we should owe no man anything but to love. This means that the debt of love to others around us is the only debt that we are allowed to owe and that it is a debt that we can never fully pay.

So as today goes on, learn not just to show love because you can get something in return. Show love because you have to, because love is who you are. Remember that the best acts of love are shown to those who have no means to pay you back. Show love to someone today. Have a lovely day. 

WHAT I LEARNT FROM A CRICKET by Austin Queensly (@AustinQueensly)

Swoosh! Swish! The water came in from all directions to drown this annoying little pest but it was apparently to no avail. This little thing held on to dear life like it had a family somewhere in its little cricket world. Or it had a job that it made a lot of money from and/or derived fulfillment.

What my fascination with this cricket was, I could not really place. However, reflecting on it a few hours later, I realized that it bordered on ‘pride’; pride that I could not get rid of an insignificant insect/pest easily. I definitely took the scripture from Philippians 3:12b out of context in my determination to get rid of this cricket from what I considered my personal space at least for the moment.

“Finally! Victory!!”… I shouted excitedly when with a final gush, I flushed the cricket down the laundry drain.

Perseverance is a word that has many synonyms and has been used severally by humans when describing themselves and is especially recurrent in resumes and cover letters. But in the real sense of the word, it is a rarity to find humans who possess that attribute regardless of gender, age, or race.

The 'But' Around Your Neck

Hi there guys, it's been quite a while since I last posted on this blog. I've been offline because I and my classmates were on an excursion and I had very little access to the internet. Over the course of the excursion I got to learn very valuable life lessons which I shall be sharing with you lot over the next few days. Today's life lesson s about character and bad behavior.
I decided to title this entry 'the but around your neck'. The inspiration behind it is simple. The person driving us was a nice man. Very kind and friendly 'but' he had a big character flaw that would never make me consider him or refer him for employment to another person. His flaw: he was never willing to be corrected and he always felt he knew too much.
The fact is that no matter how good you think you are,a little 'but' around your neck could spoil who you are and what people see you as. Check yourself. What's you biggest character flaw. When you find it, work consciously towards curing yourself of it.

How to Overcome Pornography: Cut Off Your Sources

The next step to take in overcoming porn addiction after admitting it is a problem that can ruin you and identifying your triggers is to cut off your sources. Cutting off your sources is as practical a step as it gets and it involves a whole lot of self-discipline and self-assurance that you are ready to take your recovery up a notch. It implies that you are ready to be really serious with your recovery from porn addiction.

Cutting off your sources is a simple step. It involves breaking all those DVDs and CDs, using softwares on your computer to block all those sites you usually visit. At this point you really need to build up your self-discipline. Friends can also help you out here. You can ask a friend to put in a password for that software so you won’t be able to access those pornographic sites. You can also deprive yourself of internet services as long as possible to help you curb the addiction and ultimately put it out.

Moreover, if you are the type that gets access through your phone, that is your internet data plan and your BlackBerry subscription supports you in this wise, it is time you let go of that phone. Either you cut off your internet subscription so you can only browse in public places or you change your phone to one that cannot access the internet. This is for your own good and as I said earlier, it requires a whole lot of self-discipline.

At all cost you must sever all ties with things that grant you easy access to the internet and eventually to porn sites.

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING

In school I have been put in charge of publishing a magazine and I was brainstorming this morning, with my partner, on people to add to our team. A lot of names popped up in my head and I suggested them to my partner but she kindly rejected them and I know why: ATTITUDE. Till forever, this truth remains, a bad attitude will always overshadow good talent. No matter how good you are at doing something, if your attitude is poor and your character deficient, you will hardly made headway in life.

I have come across so many talented people, who I will never take seriously simply because their attitude is distasteful. At the same time I have come across certain people who may not be so bright mentally but their attitude lights them up. They are delightful.

So today, as you go about your activities, remember: ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING, SO PICK A GOOD ONE.

THERE’S NO HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD’S APPLAUSE

I got this idea from Britt Nicole’s song ‘You’ and I think it’s time I penned it down because it has been hovering on my mind for quite some time. The song talks about seeking true love and finding happiness. The truth is that there’s never happiness when you live for the commendations of others and their applause. There is no happiness there. The only true happiness you will ever find is the happiness that comes with knowing that God loves you and would go to any length for you. This true happiness also comes from the satisfaction you get from fulfilling the purpose for which you were created. God created you not to be just another person but because there's a problem out there that He knows you can solve.

Thank You All For Inspiring Me

All my life I have wanted to inspire people and change the world. This drive has been my catalyst for blogging and writing and ever since I started this blog one year ago on January 26, 2013, I have not regretted. Writing to inspire you all has been a constant source of inspiration to me. Each day I don't post here makes me feel empty. I am grateful for all your support and I hope we keep this blogger-reader relationship for a long time. God bless you all.