LIFE LESSONS 2: MUM IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT… by Austin Queensly (@AustinQueensly)

“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”

                                                                                                                           

James 1:19 (NIV)

‘No! We should stay in this bus until it gets to its park at Oyingbo before getting a tricycle to his house...’ I tried to let my mother see reason. ‘…it will save us time and stress and…’

‘Oh, you forgot about the cost part right’ my mother cut in. ‘Hiring a tricycle from Oyingbo will cost us more money, so let us just forget about it and alight at Ojota bus stop, take a bus to Yaba and from there we can get a tricycle to your brother’s house’

‘Oh…ok mum’…I said resignedly like I always did when I did not want to cause a conflict. There is obviously a flaw in our relationship. You guessed right…Communication!

The greatest need of humans apart from physical survival is the need to be understood, appreciated, and affirmed. Everyone loves being listened to and in their struggle to achieve that tend to have monologues for conversations. As a result, such individuals achieve the exact opposite of their initial goal and lose more friends than gain them.

The key to building successful relationships is communication. Communication is a two way process whereby you talk less and listen more. When you finally talk or respond to an inquiry, the other party will be confident that he has been understood and will take your view seriously and hold it in high esteem. All humans tend to act and respond to people the way those people act and respond to them. So, if you want to be listened to, listen first giving the person enough confidence that no matter the content of their words, you will not love them less.

In his book, The 7 Habits Primer, Zaine Ridling says:

‘Give others PSYCHOLOGICAL AIR by listening to understand their perspective, avoiding autobiographical responses, and by letting them finish their sentences.’

Adapt this into your everyday life and you will realise that you have better relationships.

After following mum’s plan, we were almost hit twice by ‘danfo’ drivers, and spent even more money. I love my mum. Believe me she is the best…in all areas except one. Mum is not always right…