Who Will Bell the Cat? by Humphrey Ovias #100DaysOfGrowth

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Who will bell the cat for me? Who will remove the ache from my sour heart? Who will take me to the place where no one will find me? Questions ravaging my young mind before it got polluted by my mischievous experience. Lest I forget, dare I say I was older than my age. Oh dear, the things I saw, did and happened to me. I walked around with heavy weights on my shoulder given my bloated and ageing Y-chromosomes.

My skeletal existence, a scrawny looking specimen of a child. Mentally I was skeletal, I could not even spell my name until I was eight and when I finally did, it was a great feat, an achievement. Physically I looked like a patient running away from his medication administered by injection and suffering the humiliation of being held down by a nurse with ample weight on her frame. Emotionally I had no idea what my feelings were. I just knew I was a big bad angry guy inside my skeletal frame. I was a beast literarily but a skinny one.

Very often I acquiesced myself the opportunity to prove my worth even when I had no self worth. Although this was unknown to me but I ended up knowing from my interactions with people  both friends and acquaintances alike. There were times when it was difficult to take, a bitter pill to swallow. I did swallow it so many times and it did get stuck in my throat very often.

My existence became impaired without being informed. Yes, my hair was shaved in my absence and several times too. How could they have done that? Sorry I meant to say how could I have sabotaged my own personality? I've got nothing to prove even if my credibility was built on a shaky ground. It would have been nice to have a reinforced concrete that's stronger than a German floor. Unknown to my noble father and mother I became feral. I was on a feral ground. Very furry too.

I was the best amongst my equals but I was unknown outside my circle of friends. Therein lies the motivation to be a genius. Truth be told, my ingenuity lies in the depth of my desperation. I am not ashamed to say this if I was I guess I would have still said it. Who will hold me to account for my honesty? Not many if I may say.

I've always been adventurous even as a kid. Running around and playing in the sand were the least of my physical troubles. Climbing walls both solid ones and dilapidated ones never frightened the daylight out of me. Climbing trees was a daily staple. An exercise done while overdosing on foolishness. Height was the ultimate test of my manhood. I was scared of nothing but myself. I was scared of no one but my noble father.

Growing up I was starved of telly by my noble father so I became an actor in my own movies, an action man to the core, nay an action kid more like. It was more Denis the Menace than Home Alone. I never used any stunt double. I acted my own stunts. I still wear the mark of my injuries on my forehead, a badge of my notoriety and aggressive foolishness. As a grown man, I still act in my own movies only thrillers and never action. More Shutter Island than Terminator.

Incredible how I live my life. A man of the people loves being by himself, an irony I can explain but I'd spare you the heartache. Just to give you an incline and put your mind to rest, I love safety. By myself is where I'm safe. Where I'm not encumbered by the unnecessary distractions of being overtly friendly and polite. It's safety first.

I love the idea of growth. Of multiplication and addition. Of progression. All these without inhibitions. Maybe experiencing the full force of the Laws of Motion is essential in our quest for greatness. Greatness is relative. Some say the sky is the limit others say it's the beginning. Herein lies the ultimate paradox. If the sky is the starting point, then we begin the journey at our destination. If the sky is the limit, then we end our journey at the starting point. The mechanism of relativity embedded in a fallacy.

I don't know where I stand on this argument but I'm safe in my opinion remaining unexposed. If it was exposed and I'm able to expound on my reasoning  I'd be called a great mind. I wouldn't, so pride doesn't become an arsenal in my weaponry. Let me orally fall on my sword and bite the dust. Let the world be the judge of my mind. Nay, I resist the temptation and I hold my peace.

Humour me with the thoughts of your latent love. Let it neither be fiery nor fierce. Let me walk around in the amphitheatre of the unknown without trepidation and I'd show you a great gladiator. Let me sail to a place unknown, the mountain top and I'd bring you the clouds. Mountain top? A boldface lie between the teeth. Why fly to the mountain top without breathing God's own air? And why breathe the air without touching the clouds. Kill two birds with one stone and you'd have a roasted bird dinner with another bird to spare.

This is the factory works, the place of my mind. Dystopian in nature, entertaining chaos with frightening regularity. I enjoy reasonable amount of peace but only in my heart. Although not completely Utopian yet it remains my beacon of hope. So humour me and bell the cat for me, my mind.