Allow Pain To Forge You by Daniel Olushola

Entry 11 by: Daniel Olushola (Twitter: @DanielOlushola)

Image Source: Nick Fleming

Now, I wouldn’t consider myself as a grown man. How can I? Should I judge myself by the tiny strands of beards growing out of my jaw or scale myself by how much of my statue I can frame or maybe to label myself by the little knowledge I spill, borrowed at will from dead men long gone just to excite my admirers and submit them to awe from my prideful display of thoughts-actually epitaphic wisdom; heavily obsessing myself with quoting sages of ages past and losing my own ability to think.

I am actually not well known and it is easy for you to disregard all my statements since I have not built an empire to match my words, I would not consider your indifference towards my craft as sheer hatred for I know there is an enclave in human nature where it is not unusual to pay sole allegiance to those whose lives are scripted. I am also weakened by the temptation to want to tell the world how much of a star I have become even as I contribute to this project. It is common for me to always have my imaginary robe over my head, grow vague epic beards and writing under a poor lit room, with my feathery medieval pen weaving its tail to the tune of my eager hand as I want to be seen with relevance.

Carving myself into the image of what I do is a lethal toxin I would rather like to avoid; not that I disregard men and women who in the exercise of their freedom call themselves theologians, speakers, pastors, writers, poets, entrepreneurs or thinkers based on the divine algorithm they have been flared with from the beginning of time by the sovereign eternal. But framing myself could be dangerous as I would have to live up to certain expectations but my lazy lifestyle would not permit me. But I see tagging myself for this project is an unavoidable pain I would rather have to bear since I am writing to readers whose lifestyle have been flawed by rhythm. So I will submit my pride to pleas of you; my reader and try to not bore you as I explain how much of a superstar I have become, in my eyes with all the big books and unusual steps I am taking to grow.

The gruesome passage of my brother to the flip side of reality has had a huge impact in my life. Mercilessly butchered by religious fanatics, I made it my life goal to express my anguish; though short lived, just like medieval philosophers would have done on their dry animal skin when they have deep thoughts to advertise. That single moment brought the greatest tool to the fore- my ability to express how pained I was about this world on paper. After studying the grammatical styles of experts, I derived my own style which has seen the light of publications equally by leading national newspapers and international magazine. This was a start of a journey on a path I would never want my enemies to enchant me to alter.

Same event brought my spiritual journey to a close; I mean a complete amputation to a pseudo-spiritual phase. Initiated into a weary, purposeless, man-centered, materialistic, empire-building, superstar oriented Christianity for over 15 years, my brother’s exit brought deep questions to the floor which my materialistic god could never answered; he was always mute but I was blind to hear him in my delusion. I left this religion decently and found Christ. He took my deceit and gave me authenticity; he swallowed my depravity and gave me life-eternal.

I became an entrepreneur (selling toast bread and drinks) don’t underestimate such venture because I made lots of money but circumstances forced me to drop out of school; temporarily. My brother’s death again swallowed my academic fund for 2 years. But today I can fully call myself an engineer as God in his providence used peasants to fund me through my finals-again.

Pain has been my catalyst for growth. It has crushed me but under its brows has forged me into the unknown peasant I am today. If you want to be unknown and disregarded but live in ease, authenticity and an adventurous life, allow pain to forge you and don’t hide it from people like you got life all figured out. But if you want to be constant on screen, looking all brushed up, rich, superhuman and untouchable, live a life scripted by society and act like toilet flies have gone into extinction in your world; your reward would be a crushed spirit, a weary life and a beautifully crafted suicidal note. Learn to grow through pain.