June 2015 was my best month so far, in a long time. Weeks ago, I told you guys in this post that I lost my 2 jobs (one as a part time writer for a startup and the other as an intern in a consulting firm). I didn't lose those jobs because I was incompetent. What I might not have told you was that losing them was God's way of taking my own options off my plate and leaving me to face His plan for my life.
Towards the end of the month of May, I started to feel a bit overwhelmed by all the work I had to do: I had this blog and the #100DaysOfGrowth project to manage, I had to churn out weekly articles for a startup in an area that wasn't my forte (business and startups articles), and I was working at a consulting firm in Lagos as a Social Media Intern (a job that I obviously wasn't very skilled at). I was wearing myself down so much and it had me worried.
One morning, during my prayer session, I asked God to take away all the options I had and strip me bare so I could focus on His plan and purpose for my life. I knew it was a weighty prayer and thought I was ready for the aftermath but with all sincerity, I wasn't. Two days after I prayed that prayer, I was laid off from my first job. I didn't feel sad because I already saw it coming (I had the premonitions and was ready for it). A couple of days later, I got an email that I wasn't going to be retained after my internship at the consulting firm. I thought to myself, "this too must be part of God's plan." I got the email on a Friday evening. By Monday, I had a meeting with Eloho Onwah and we had a fruitful discussion. She advised me to focus on hearing God more clearly and to do away with all the clutter in and around my life.
On getting back to where I live from Lagos, I decided to start afresh with God. This time, I wanted the relationship to be free of religion, and full of love and intimacy. I set out to do this by engaging in the following:
- I began a study on the book of Romans.
- I read 3 books to aid my growth in Christ, namely-
i. Living As A Christian by A. W. Tozer
ii. Authentic Christianity by Richard Taylor
iii. Tongues: Beyond The Upper Room by Kenneth E. Hagin
The combination of these engagements charted a new course for me and I am happy about it. However, this story will not be complete if I do not tell you that I have thought of giving up many times. I can't count the amount of times I have regretted praying that prayer. Honestly, at times I blame God for where I am. But these things only prove that I am human and have numerous shortcomings. They also prove how shortsighted I am and how much I need to depend on God to lead me through these dark times.
Before now, I was sure I would be going for my Masters in September 2015 but that is not happening anymore (at least not at the moment). I have an admission but no money to fund it. I am trusting God to help me get funds for the 2016 session. Till then, and forever, I plan to keep seeking His face and listening for His guidance and plan for my life. It hasn't been pretty these past weeks, but it has been helpful. Growth is never without pain.
PS: This month, I helped start a Twitter Bible Study which has already taken place twice. Maybe w will continue by next Friday.
This is what June was like for me. How was it for you? Please share your experiences with us in the comments below.
Oh wow, I don't really know what to say but i know something, God will not leave you helpless. I'm glad for one thing, that you're growing and embracing truth. Like I shared on my blog about goals, I can partially relate to all you talked about, I remember when I first graduated and had rejections from almost everywhere I went till I got a community pharmacy to start as an intern. This was after one year of waiting and getting rejections but God has and is still making me see that everything that happened was all for my good. I might not know all of it but I trudt God to look out for me. He's teaching me that it isn't that he isn't able, but is he willing? Is a certain path his will for my life or mineable? He sees the end from the beginning, he knows the road ahead and he won't leave me to dive in because He's such a loving father. Sometimes the flesh and the enemy of my soul doesn't want me to see this and I slip in my words and my actions. God will sustain you David. I'm glad you're becoming a stronger person as you pass through these things. Some pass through them and shy away from God but you have chosen to draw near. May He strengthen you and may He strengthen me too.
ReplyDeleteTake care
This prayer..."Lord let your will be done in my life" (which was basically what you prayed) isn't an easy one.
ReplyDeleteit practically means that everything you think you want (except they align with God's plans for you) will go.
Jobs, people, things..all will fade away but His own plans for us.
I prayed that prayer before nysc, I wanted lagos and ended in Ekiti and it has been awesome so far.
I am praying it again now even as I am close to POp(months away), I don't know what's up but I know that it can only be for my good-God never does otherwise.
I pray for you and I and all who desire to stay on God's path for grace even as we place God first above every other plan/things in our own minds.
Wish you the very bestest David
You can only go right with God.