LIFE LESSONS III: THE BEST LOSER by Austin Queensly (@AustinQueensly)

“You took fourth! Fourth!! What happened to the first, second or even ‘manageable’ third position!!!”

I recoiled to the sitting room to avoid my mum’s screaming but especially dreaded my father’s arrival because though I was and still am ‘daddy’s pet’, one thing is not acceptable in my home. FAILURE. And believe me; my fourth position was considered one. This memory, even after 14 years, remains ingrained in my head and with it, a fear that is now a part of my subconscious and sometimes beclouds my decision making. The fear of failure!

From my growing up years, I had this concept driven into me that failure is bad. First position in class ensured that I got a mini celebration and fourth, a strong reprimand. Don’t get me wrong because I am not condemning this method of upbringing, in fact it has made me the person I am today, always striving for excellence. However, there are always two sides of a coin.

In the book, The Power of Focus, two types of fear of failure are identified; positive and negative fear. Positive fear of failure makes one strive to do better in order not to fail while negative fear of failure inhibits risk taking. With a negative fear of failure, one doesn’t want to break out of their comfort zone and take a risk because of the premonition of failure.

Everyone has a negative fear of failure whether they admit it or not and very few are able to overcome it and go ahead to create maximum impact in their world. Mark Zuckerberg successfully did this by dropping out of Harvard University (which would definitely have caused an outrage) to pursue what we now know as Facebook. His ability to take a huge risk on a venture that had the tendency to become a monumental failure if not handled well was a result of his triumph over the fear of failure.

Today, break out from that limitation. Start that business; sing that song (as long as you do not sound like a frog); write that book (please not on ‘how to become a billionaire in 5 days from the comfort of your home’); learn that language (don’t try learning French, Spanish, Chinese and Greek at the same time though).

Take a risk today. It is better to be the best loser than to be mediocre and still be a loser. Remember:

The biggest risk is not taking any risk... In a world that changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.

Mark Zuckerberg