Wine, Chocolate and Other Lessons from the Past 100 Days

Final Entry: By Yours truly, David I. Adeleke

The past 100 days of my life have been both painful and rewarding. In the past 100 days, I have lost and I have gained friends. I have lost people to death and a few have been brought into the world. In the past 100 days, I have embraced God and I have pushed Him away, and then embraced Him again and pushed Him away; a cycle that doesn’t seem to end. In the past 100 days I have learned and I have unlearned. But most importantly, in the past 100 days, I have grown a lot as I trust you have too as you have followed this project.

In March 2015 when I came up with the idea for the #100DaysOfGrowth project, I had initially planned to put up an article a day for those 100 days, but it wasn’t meant to be. Not everyone I reached out to to contribute responded positively. A couple of people turned it down because they were too busy to contribute while a number of people completely ignored the invitation. Some promised to contribute but eventually did not or they responded too late. Whichever way, I am grateful for the lessons learned. For those who have contributed to this project, I thank you. For those who have followed the project from May 1^st till today, and have been positively impacted by it, I am happy for you.

I entered into May 2015 full of joy and anticipating interning with my role model, Leke Alder. I interned at his company, Alder Consulting, for 5 weeks after which I was let go. During a session with him, he gave us an advice that has since stuck to my mind: move away from religion and into a relationship with God. Ever since he told us that, it’s what I have been trying to do. However, along the way, I have realize how difficult it can be at times and how easy it can be also. It’s like sometimes God is smiling too much with you and you feel on top of the world, until suddenly you let the cares of the world into the picture and you start having issues in your relationship with Him.

After my internship, I met Eloho Onwah, who I had a fruitful chat with. Till tomorrow, her advice for me has helped guide my life: learn how to seek the counsel of elders, don’t let the constant praise of your peers get into your head. Frankly, discussing with people who are older and more experienced than I am has turned out to be more of a blessing than I imagined. Some of their words are like gold which I have stored up for the days of trouble. Truly, an example from someone’s/your experience is the best teacher.

Eloho also taught me that people come into your life for a reason or for a season. Once it’s time to move on from them or let them go, just do so. There’s no use hanging on to them; you will be hindering their/your own progress that way. It’s not all the time that these people are of negative intent or effect, it’s just that it’s time for you to move on from each other.

For you that are reading this, I thank God that you are alive and well. Many have died in the last 100 days, but you haven’t (except you are a ghost, are you?), so you have a lot to be thankful for. They say, “Where there is life, there is hope.” I am grateful for the opportunity to run this blog. Many people have written to me, appreciating and lauding me and the blog, but it’s important to say that all this is nothing without you. For everyone who has ever read this blog, and has been blessed or inspired by it, I must express my joy and gratitude for your life. It is because of you that I blog; as long as you are blessed, I am satisfied.

In more specific terms, here are 10 vitals lessons I have learned in the last 100 days:

1. Value criticism. When people criticize you, learn how to look into it and pick out the helpful part. If someone tells you that your writing is boring or whack, try to find out why they said so. You may find some tips for improvement therein.
2. You’re not all that. That you’re very good in one thing simply means there’s some other thing you’re not very good at, and that means there’s someone who’s better than you in that wise. Learn how to be humble. You are not the king of the world.
3. Be proactive. Stop waiting for things to happen; you get up and make them happen. If you ask someone to do something, try to follow up and make sure they deliver. You don’t have to hassle them, just make sure they are on their toes.
4. Those who are willing to learn, love, give and forgive will find life far less complicated.
5. Your ideas are worth nothing without action and execution.
6. Be open-minded. There’s so much variety in life. Don’t be so adamant or close-minded that you fool yourself into believing that there’s only one way to do things, or that your own way is the only right way simply because it works for you. People are different, embrace that.
7. Get off the internet more, try to live life more. That you have 2000 Facebook friends or Twitter followers doesn’t mean you actually have friends in real life. Virtual reality is no substitute for actual reality. If you die, your remembrance won’t go beyond a hashtag or a Facebook post. And I have found that some people just like tweeting #RIP-Mr. So-and-so; doesn’t make them sympathetic in any way.
8. God’s plan for everyone is unique to them. That someone did something or followed a path to get somewhere doesn’t mean that if you follow that same path and do the same things, you’ll end up in the same place. Life isn’t black and white homie!
9. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, but don’t be so foolish to make them all the time too. Some mistakes I have made are just born out of sheer folly, I have gained nothing but blistering lessons from them.
10. In the words of Ellen DeGeneres, “Drink wine, and eat chocolate!” Just kidding. But really, you have to learn how to be free with yourself. Don’t be too hardheaded or uptight with your life.

Blessings to you,

-David I. Adeleke