All my life I heard: Set goals. Set
short term, middle term, half way in between, long term and after-you-die
goals. It made me a little bit depressed because while I was a really
passionate person (a nice word for very crazy), I never seemed to be able to
reach goals I set for myself so let's say I was unmotivated. I kept trying to
understand why I was not this highly driven person in life, why I wasn't like
every other smart person and at some point I just stopped bothering.
My passion have always changed. It
always scared me because people seemed to have figured out their life from when
they were 6 years old because they wanted to be doctors and lawyers and at that
time, all I wanted to be was a shoe maker. I sort of just accepted to be
average and do what I could in school.
Then 2014 came and I developed a
very strong reading culture (which has died now. Sigh). I read at least two
books per week and it was a beautiful time for me because I stumbled on
beautiful books, bad books and books that should have never been published. But
in that time, I came across a book that I can say changed my life forever which
was Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg. The whole book was glorious to me but really
what struck me was a particular part of the book when she heard bad rumors
about her in the media and went to tell her boss, Mark Zuckerberg and knowing
that she's a cries when she's mad, she told herself: 'Today I will be a
professional and not cry' and the next thing she knows when she walks into his
office was her wailing and Mark hugging her and comforting her. I could totally
relate! I cry when I'm angry a lot and all I thought to myself when I saw that
part of the book was: so people just like me succeed in life and that was my
tipping point. I began to delve deeper into finding myself and unlocking this
potential I'm supposed to have.
And I learnt so many things:
1. Love what you do. I learnt that
for you to be really productive and achieve what you want you must really
really enjoy what you're doing not what you think you should love. When you
find that thing that is your 'craft' you would push boundaries to be better at
it. Anyways I've heard of people that can do things they find boring very
efficiently. What do I know, I'm just a lazy person full of passion.
2. Accept the randomness. Like I
said I was always scared that my passions were always changing and to me the
changes seemed really drastic. But I realized when I was writing my statement
of purpose for school that every single thing I did led me up to the point I am
today and I love it and would not trade it for anything. Life will always
converge so long you learn to do and not overthink it.
3. Be flexible about your goals and
your process. I once read a quote that said you shouldn't set too strict goals
for the future because life can change very drastically and you could limit
your potential in what you want to be. We are all very scared of change. Maybe
you've told all your friends you want to be the CEO of Microsoft and now what
you really want to be is start a clothing line. Do you know how hard that is to
start explaining yourself to everybody? Believe me I get it, I've had that
problem throughout this year when people ask me why I'm no more a chemical
engineer in a sense and what the hell is data science. Don't be afraid to own
the person you'll become today and the person you can become tomorrow. Even if
it means not telling anyone. Just don't get stuck in the person everyone
expects you to be.
4. Enjoy the process. I once read an
article that talked about setting goals. It said once you set a goal, you are a
failure until you complete that goal. Gosh. How depressing. But we can't go
through life not setting goals. What I learnt is enjoy the process. Don't think
about what you haven't done or dwell on the things you've done, just focus on
putting on foot infront of the other and enjoy looking at your feet move.
5. Be the right person. I owe the
person I am today to having some AMAZING people. People that made me believe I
could be anything I want to be and shaped me into the person I am today. But as
I look back I realize that it was about the person I was as much as it was
about the people I met. I'll explain. At the beginning of last year I made so
many vows to myself after having one of the most candid yet eye opening talks
with my classmate. I was one of those idiots that complained about how I never
had friends or good enough ones but during the period of this growth mentally,
physically and spiritually I began to see that I was attracting some awesome
people in my life. It works like this, the world is give and take and you must
have something to offer as a person to someone you call your friend (no, not
that. Jeez your mind is dirty). As the bible says 'Iron sharpeneth iron'.
Nobody that is on level 10 life-wise will come to level 1 to pick you up, it's
not charity. You come up to level 10 so you and the level 10ers can grow
together. Even when you want to fall back down, you're on a level where amazing
people can hold you up. Friends can make or mar you and when you hear that
statement also remember that it not only applies to your friends but to the
people that call you friend and make it a point of duty to facilitate the
growth of others around you.
6. Most importantly, Everyone's
journey is unique. It's a little bit counterintuitive with all the 'advice'
I've given but I'm just sharing my story and it may inspire someone, someone
may not agree, someone may try it out and call me 419 so yeah. Keep on doing
the thing you love, you'll fall, you'll make mistakes but you'll learn what
would keep you going.
I learnt to do the things I love, I
learnt to accept myself, I learnt to enjoy the process, I learnt to be the
right friend and I learnt to own the person I am today and the person I could
be tomorrow. That is how I learnt to grow.
Been waiting a long time for this... Thanks Rosebud and David.... Really insightful
ReplyDeleteYour good. Am the one your talking about in this post :)
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