2 Lessons I Learned About Life and Perspective

Last month, I read Stephen R. Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and in it, I came across this striking story he shared of his experience on a subway in New York. I'll narrate in his person and then draw some lessons from it.

One Sunday morning on a subway in New York, people were sitting quietly- some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene.

Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed. The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people's papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing.

It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, "Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn't control them a little more?"

The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, "Oh, you're right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don't know what to think, and guess they don't know how to handle it either."

Covey says at the moment he heard that, something shifted inside him. Can you imagine what he felt at that time? He says his paradigm shifted and he immediately saw things differently. That brings me to the lessons I wish to draw from this story.

1. Life Isn't About Us Only

We live in a world where time and situations have conditioned us to be so singular in perspective that we forget that many times, situations aren't always as they seem and there are different angles to view them from. Most times, we do not see things from other people's perspective because we have become so focused on the way we see things. It's only at times when nigh-spectacular things- like Covey experienced- happen to us that we remember that life isn't about us only.

2. Consider Other People's Perspective and Live Like You Do

If we were more mindful of other people's opinions, situations and perspectives, we would lead better lives. Imagine this scenario: You have a colleague at the office who happens to be your confidant. The person always hears you out when you have to unload stuff off your mind and so you like her so much. One day, you get to the office and the colleague appears melancholic and not in the mood to speak to anyone. You try repeatedly to find out what's wrong but you get blown off. This happens throughout the whole week. You get annoyed and start to tell people how your colleague is now a snub and how she has changed negatively. The following week, you find that she has stopped coming to work. You ask around and they tell you she has gone on leave. Eventually, you find out that she went for her father's burial. The father had been killed in an automobile accident some weeks back. How would you feel after learning that, considering all you've been saying about her?

We must learn how to consider other perspectives and live like we do. We mustn't just jump into conclusions. Steven Covey says, "we see the world, not as it is, but as we are."

Have you experienced anything of this sort? Maybe you were the single-perspective person in question, or you know someone who was. Share with us.